It’s officially the “love” month and I am feeling sentimental towards the day of hearts. I could name a hundred of reasons to feel envious thinking about those silly couple dome moments.
Few years back, when everyone’s clamoring about the Love-a-palooza, my thought bubble says: “who cares?” When you got no one to go out with and be thrilled to kiss in front of the rest of those cheesy lovebirds.
How many years have pass, and I feel like I’m getting used to it? Or am I? Of course I’ve tried to console myself in several occasions, by giving myself a rule of not working/not going out on Valentine’s Day. Who am I fooling anyway? When I know deep down I would’ve wanted to be out in the crowd and get bitten by ants (too much sweetness I mean) If only I can call myself a “couple” even if I’m single.
Maybe I’m just tired… maybe, it’s just the thing of this season… maybe, I’m PMSing, maybe I’ve ran out of reasons to cheer myself up… maybe I’m getting older and most of my other friends who used to share the same sentiments with me, have already changed their status or perhaps they have already exclaimed all the rants they could get and I’m now the last woman standing… alone…
Yeah, I have the best family in the world and no doubt they love me unconditionally, I have a huge crowd of lovely, compassionate and supportive friends, but reality is… they aren’t exclusive.
Celebrations such as Valentine’s Day make me feel sick. It’s not like I’m asking for a posh date or anything fancy, but all I really wanted was to be able to spend it not just with any one, but someone who’s really dear to me. My constant and at times, tiresome wishful thinking…. But can you blame me?
If only I have an access to speed up a day into minutes, Valentine’s Day will surely be one of it, until the day, when my hands won’t feel cold because I already got someone to hold. (*emote*)