How many times I’ve questioned myself on what makes me so hooked with the internet. Sure, I don’t make business out of it, no monetary compensation and the likes… and honestly I really don’t do this online thing for money nor fame or anything… It’s just me, a narcissist? but aren’t we all have that narcissistic bone at least one or two?
When a friend, posted my blog link on his facebook wall, I got too panicky and urged him to delete it. (which thankfully he did) Although a part of me wanted to have a bit of attention, it got me scared too… I know how a word or phrase can be scrutinized and with a change of tone applied, it can totally create difference on what you are meaning to say. Yeah.. maybe I am paranoid in that sense, because, I would still want to be known as ME – the person, in flesh, more than the image or impression I may have created with the way I express myself in writing or with the photos I’ve posted. Although, I never really try to invent or fabricate the contents of my piece, but it comes from a wide array and variety of thoughts? emotions? past experiences? fears? or perhaps resentments? And, we all have those moments, but it’s all on a different time frame..a different version of the story.
I am idealistic. But my ideology, is limited within me. Common, I’m not best person in the world, I’m flawed all over… what to me is ideal, can be contradicting to another. So, I always say, it’s just me. This is what I think and feel at the moment… and it’s not absolute… Nevertheless, I am myself… even crazier for real.
Did I make a point here? I’ll end this for now, with a dot. dot. dot….