I am still that girl… who wouldnt exactly get “the rules” and will remain clueless if not dumb about dating.
The tell tales of subtle misfits. It ‘s getting tiring and draining my already depreciating optimism. You wanna feel okay about it, because at least it didnt consumed much of your time, but you’re also back to zero from almost reaching a quarter to counting one.
Oh yeah… patience, tell me about it again and again, like I’ve never heard it 2 decades back.
You wanna reassure yourself by telling what they’re missing, but is that really the case?
Someone told me, “You have to put youself out there.” Must I take a braver(desperate) move to wear a “Sale” sign before i’m gone for salvaging?
Well, if you’ve watched “He’s Just Not That Into You”, you’d probably agree, I am both Gigi and Mary combined.
Oh yes! Surprisingly, i haven’t forgotten my password after not checking this page for the longest time. I so wanna go back to using this as an outlet… and hopefully, I get to write as authentic, carefree and genuinely honest as possible, not minding too much about the prejudices and overanalyzing my thoughts (really?) which often ends up not being able to write anything, if not too vague, that I myself can’t decipher what I’ve been meaning to say.
Of course, i’ll be having my terrible grammar horror and lapses, but who cares? I guess, I’ve come to this age where I can just shrug off whatever?! Or at least pretend as if I didn’t feel a twinge and move on.
I came across with this sign which somehow translate my current state of mind :
This should work for my comeback! Cheers to us, bitch! 😉
I kept thinking about this for a time… if people only want a sense of belongingness, why is there such a clamor over titles? Is that how we should classify and define a person? Do we all achieve the supremacy with such? When it is limited and always never gonna be enough…
I’m untitled but i have faith with the infinite. Boundless and free.
Maybe I was the typical girl who’s ideology of love was molded by fairytales and after being the living witness of the reality of life made me believe otherwise.
I dont see “commitment” coming soon. I can come close… But not(never?) attached.
This has been the longest time I have not posted anything here… I remember the first time I decided to try blogging, I didn’t care much whether it was worthwhile to post it, i just do it because at that time, expressing myself through writing bluntly was kind of liberating… but now, I am getting more conscious… perhaps mindful? Considering the grammarnazis lurking around the cyber world can also be some bunch of helluva-kind cruel critics, not to add the contradicting ideals I may come to tap on. Of course, I know very well I’m just another trying-hard (work in progress) writer(?)/blogger(?) and ordinary human who can get sensitive at times. Although I haven’t really come across with any nasty remarks yet, but those aren’t avoidable.
I’m hoping to get some power-ups for this page to keep it active again.
Perhaps, ageing makes an individual more susceptible to complexities and to overthinking that I’m missing the “carefree” version of me.
It feels like a stranger in my own territory now… well, not being able to write something here makes it even harder to start and finish one.
Do you want to read what’s in between my ears now? Let’s try in bullets:
- Why is it so hard to lose weight? Seriously. Common?! Why can’t the weighing scale be a little kinder on me? I’ve been on No-Rice-Policy for more than a month now and YES! I’ve been sneaking out to the gym to sweat for at least twice or thrice a week… I haven’t seen a very visible result… or at least not yet? It gets a little frustrating sometimes… I’m not giving up though… I shall continue with this project drool-worthy no matter how long it’ll take… until my figure translates the sexy wits I got.
- Clock is ticking… I know age is just a number but my ovaries don’t seem to agree.
- Still N.B.S.B. Whether you believe it not, however pathetic that may sound… I still wouldn’t easily jump into one relationship for the sake of having one. Perhaps, I’d consider a donor? who knows what my frantic side would bring. Back in the days, friends and I got know what’s a “crush”, friends got boyfriends, broken up, reunited, broken up again, got a rebound, get married, babies, elicit affairs, annulment, married for the 2nd time, and the list goes on… while i’m still stuck with a “crush”? I’m not even sure if I seriously have one now. Not complaining nor making an advertisement here, just stating a fact…
(you.) Gusto ko lang naman ang may ka-holding hands.
- Friends come and go… oh dear… i’m missing all of them too!
- Health scare… I just hope the experts find some immunity to all of those monstrous diseases.
- I’m missing my family. I miss home. Miss ko na din talaga ang puto-bumbong. Pasko na!!!!
On top of all these, I wanna remain thankful, for the many blessings that has come my way and for the many more that will come soon. I just wanna keep myself reminded that maybe life is tough, but I need not to battle them alone. Thank God for his endless provisioning.
So what have you been up to lately???
Oftentimes, I feel like, I do not know many things that I find myself dumb if not naive or just plain stupid… But there are times as well, when I wish I can preserve ignorance to save me from paranoia, disappointment and/or pain…
Nowadays, when everything can be “googled”, everyone has their “say” to everything, making themselves appearing like a “guru” or “the authority”, when in fact, their opinion was only in unison to some “domineering persona” / a celebrity? Or famous names to a certain crowd.
Honestly, do we really need to have an opinion on everything?
I think it’s better to stay mum and be fatuous… specially when it doesn’t concern me. Besides, I realized the more you open your mouth, the more that the air tends to get inside your head… that must explain why some forget to keep themselves grounded.